Chapter 18

Thom groaned as the sunlight filled the room. Check another thing off that he disliked in the décor- the see through curtains. He popped an eye open to look at the clock and groaned again when he saw it was nearing nine am.

"Far too early," he mumbled, turning back around to cuddle Kyan.

He bolted fully awake when his arms wrapped around nothing. His body jerked into an upright position. He was alone.

"Kyan?" he called out, hoping the man was in the bathroom, despite the fact that it was dark and the door was wide open. "Ky?"

When he got no answer, he threw the covers back and leaped out of the bed. Desperately, he searched for a note of some sort- throwing the pillow that Kyan had slept on across the room. He barreled towards the bathroom, and when he saw that the pile of clothes Kyan had left under the sink was gone, he doubled over at the waist, gasping for breath.

"Oh, my god," he moaned, painfully. "He's gone. He… he really left me."

The reality was quite clear. Clawing his way out to the room, he somehow managed to pull a pair of jeans on and a shirt, slid his feet into his flip flops, grabbed his key and headed out the door. He made a beeline to Kyan's room.

"Kyan, open up," he said, banging on it. "Come on! Open the damn door." He paused to see if he could hear anything. "Please!"

Dropping his arms, he slumped against the wood frame. The tears started to build, and his throat constricted.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. I won't…" He choked. Swallowing the nauseating sensation, he began to pound on the door. "Ky, please…. Don't do this to me! Just talk to me!" The hot tears dripped off his eyelashes. "I love you, Kyan. Don't…." He finally broke down, collapsing onto the floor.

He looked up when he heard a door opening. Jai's head popped out. His hair was wickedly wild from sleep. Squinting against the harsh light, he saw Thom.

"My God, Thom, what is it?" he asked alarmed.

"I don't want…" He squeezed his eyes shut in hopes it would stop the now continuous waterfall.

Finding a shoe, Jai shoved it in the door jam and rushed over to his friend. He squatted down.

"Tell me," he insisted.

"He…" Thom shook his head.

"Kyan?"

He nodded and buried his face in his hands.

"Oh my God! You are kidding me!" Jai exclaimed.

"No," he sobbed. "He… I woke up, and he was…."

"That fucking bastard!" Jai expressed.

"I told him I loved him," Thom gasped. "And he… he told me he wanted to start seeing me."

"Shh, shh," Jai soothed, cradling him.

"Why did he do this to me?" he whimpered. "I told him… He knew I wouldn't…"

"I know. I know. Sometimes… there is just no explanation."

"I love him so much, Jai. I can't imagine my life…" He broke down, sobbing into Jai's chest.

He rocked Thom gently, all the time wondering what the hell was going on and hoping that he wouldn't slaughter Kyan when he finally saw him.



"What! What happened!" Ted hissed.

"You heard me," Jai said. "I tried calling his cell but the voice mail keeps picking up. It's like he's disappeared from the face of the earth!"

"I don't believe this! What is wrong with him?"

"Thom's a mess, Ted," Jai whispered, as they huddled in the hallway. "It took me over and hour to calm him down. Thankfully, he drifted off to sleep." He rolled his head to the older man. "We have to find Kyan."

"And when we do, I'm going to kill him! How come he keeps doing this?"

They heard the elevator ding, and both straightened up. Carson came stumbling around the corner. His clothes were wrinkled, and his hair was a shaggy mess.

"What are you two doing?" he asked, dryly.

"How was your night?" Ted asked him.

Carson pressed his palms against his temples. "I don't remember much."

"Shocking," Jai said.

He waved a piece of paper. "Eric's number."

"Was it good?"

Carson shrugged. "I'm sore in places I never knew existed. I guess that's a good sign." He leaned over and tossed the paper into the trash bin nearby. "It is time to get out of Texas."

"We still have a few more hours to go," Ted pointed out.

"And we have a crisis," Jai finished.

"Oh, God, what?"

"Have you talked to Kyan lately?" Ted asked.

"Not since I saw him last night," Carson grunted.

"Damn," Jai muttered.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"He left Thom again this morning."

"Huh?" Carson said, confused.

"Oh my god, you don't remember that Thom and Kyan hooked up---" Ted started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember now," he groaned. "And he did it again?"

"Yes," Jai snapped "He did it again!"

"Christ, Jai, I'm not the one who made him get up and leave!" Carson yelled. "I don't know what goes through his mind."

"Alright, this is not helping," Ted said before Jai could respond. "Carson, do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

"How should I know? Where the hell is there to go in this place?"

"We have to do something!" Jai said. "Thom is flipping out!"

Carson dug out his cell phone. "Let me check my voice mail. Have you tried Bec or Andrew? Maybe they know."

"I already called them," Jai said. "They thought it was odd that I was looking for him in the first place."

"He'll be at the spa at three," Ted reminded them.

"Oh, crap, that's right," Carson groaned.

"That's like five hours away!" Jai stressed. "Unless Thom sleeps that long…"

The words had barely left his mouth when the door opened. Thom stood in the doorway with bloodshot eyes.

"Good god," Carson expressed at his appearance.

"You guys didn't find him, did you?" Thom croaked.

"We are trying," Jai said.

Thom looked away. "Don't bother. Obviously…" He pressed his lips together as his chin started to quiver.

"Ah, sweetie," Ted crooned, going to him.

Carson moved away from the three of them and called Kyan's phone.

"Hey," Kyan said. "How are you feeling?"

Carson was shocked that he answered. "Hold a sec." He dug for his key, then quickly went into his room. "Where are you?" he hissed.

"Downtown area," Kyan said.

"What the fuck are you doing there? All hell is breaking loose here!"

"Yeah, Jai's been trying to call me…"

"Why the hell didn't you answer the phone?"

"I've been busy!"

"Doing what? Plotting how to destroy Thom?"

"What?"

"Look, I love you, Kyan. I really do, but what you are doing to this man, well, it's just plain evil!"

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean what am I talking about? He's in the hallway right now, crying hysterically, because you… My God, Kyan, how could you leave him like that!"

"But---"

"Jai is ready to have your blood, and oh my god, Thom- Thom is devastated! He loves you! Fuck, I wish someone loved me half as much as he loves you, and you go and do this to him and treat him like this… It's just not right, Kyan. It's not!"

Kyan gritted his teeth together. Are you finished? Can I talk now?"

"No, actually, I don't really care what you have to say. You can't blame this on fear anymore. Thom is not Jason!"

"I know he's not Jason!" Kyan bellowed. "I love Thom!"

"You… You don't know what love is if this is the way--"

"I love him, Carson!" Kyan yelled. "I did not leave him this morning!"

"Then where the hell were you when he woke up?"

"I…" He growled. "I'm coming back to the hotel. Don't anyone go anywhere."

"Like we have a damn choice. We are trying to calm Thom down!"

Kyan hung up before Carson could even finish his sentence. Swearing, Carson shoved the phone in his pocket and threw open the door. The three men were no longer in the hallway. He swayed as he made his way to where he figured they were.

"God, I'm still drunk," he said under his breath, knocking.

"Where did you go to?" Ted asked, opening.

"I got a hold of him," Carson said.

"Oh, my god, where is he? What did he say?"

"He's downtown- wherever the hell that is- and he's on his way back right now."

"Right now?!"

"Jesus Christ, you people need to make up your minds- you either want him here or you don't want him here. I can't keep up!"

"Well, what else did he say?"

Carson flipped his wrist. "Something about how he didn't leave Thom, meaning he's delusional. Oh, and that he loves him."

Ted scrunched up his nose. "That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. What else do you want?"

"Well, it doesn’t make sense. Kyan knows he left this morning. How could he say he…?"

"We should call the insane asylum!" Carson suggested. "Throw him in a padded room!"

"Oh, good god," Ted groaned.

"Okay, I'm going to go wait for him in the lobby."

"Good idea."

Carson looked over Ted's shoulder to see Thom sitting on the edge of the bed, not saying anything, not moving, not even blinking while Jai was sitting next to him, whispering.

"Keep your cell phone on," he said to Ted before turning away.

"Alright. Be careful."

Carson chuckled before heading down to the lobby. He sank into one of the plush couches and groaned contently. He needed a two-day nap- and a shower. He smelled like stale alcohol and sex.

"Are you waiting for me?"

Carson jolted awake. "Huh?"

"Jesus, Car, you look like hell," Kyan stated.

Carson's eyes adjusted. "You don't look your best either."

Kyan sat down. "Are you my blockade?"

"No, not really," he said. "Just trying to see if you had gone mad."

Kyan sighed. "It's not what it looks like."

"Then what is it?" Carson asked. "Because there is a man upstairs right at this moment who feels as if his heart has been ripped out!"

Kyan shook his head and reached into his jacket pocket to pull out a long, black velvet case. He didn't say anything as he handed it to his friend. Timidly, Carson took it and slowly opened the lid.

"Oh… My… God!" Carson breathed. "Kyan!"

His eyes shifted away.

"Do you know what this is?"

"Of course, I know," he said.

"A Cartier Divan watch! Model W6300755 with black alligator straps! It must've cost you over four thousand dollars!" He looked up at Kyan. "How in the world? I mean, oh my god!"

"It's pretty amazing what you can do when you are on TV." He motioned with his chin. "I had it engraved on the back."

Carson flipped the face over and squinted to read. "Remind me not to get this drunk again."

"Yeah, okay," Kyan said, chuckling.

"Oh my god," Carson crooned when he was done reading. "Kyan…"

He smiled shyly.

"He's going to love it!" Carson exclaimed.

Kyan drew his knee up onto the couch and turned more towards his friend. "I need your help."

"My help?"

He nodded. "And Ted's. And Jai's."

"Jai's pretty pissed at you."

"Yes, you seemed to have mentioned that before," Kyan grumbled.

"What happened this morning? I mean, why just up and leave, even for this. Thom didn't know--"

Kyan rubbed his forehead. "It's complicated."

"Try me."

He started to explain then stopped himself. "Ted and Jai should hear this."

"Christ," Carson growled, getting his cell phone. "I can't be dealing with all this when I'm this hung over. I have a hang over over a hang over."

"Oh, yeah, so how did the rest of your night go?" Kyan asked, casually.

"My God! You guys could've told me how young he was!"

"He was over eighteen."

"I freaked when I woke up next to him! I don't go that young."

"You wish. And besides, you wouldn't have listened."

Carson brushed the comment off. "Anyway, I got some. That's all that matters. I-- Ted, hey, it's me. How's it going up there?"

Kyan chewed on his bottom lip as he listened to the one-sided conversation. Things were not going as he had planned. The last thing he had wanted to happen was this, knowing that Thom was hurting and being deathly afraid Thom would close the door on him forever.

He reached over and took the watch from Carson. Holding it in his palm, he fingered the platinum and rubbed the leather between his fingertips. He had thought the watch would be best. Thom had broken his favorite one during their last taping before Christmas and had yet to replace it. It had cost him a small fortune, not to mention being on the phone all morning trying to pull it off.

"Okay," said Carson, snapping his phone shut. "They are on their way, but brace yourself. They are not happy."

"What about Thom? Where is he?" Kyan asked, concerned.

"Asleep, thank god."

He swallowed. "He's really upset, isn't he?"

"Kyan! He's hysterical! He looks as if… He looks like shit!"

"Damn it," he whispered, feeling the knot form in the back of his throat. "It's not… I should've left a note or something."

"Oh! What a concept!"

"I didn't think he would wake up until I was back! I took his extra room key for crying out loud!"

"What you need to do is not be sitting down here. You need to go upstairs and see him--"

"Like hell he will!" Jai's voice startled them.

Kyan rounded his eyes up to the younger man, who had seemed to grow at least twelve feet.

"I'm not letting you anywhere near him!" Jai declared.

"Oh, my god," Carson groaned. "It's the attack of the drama queens."

"Look, I know you are upset," Kyan said, standing up. "But if you listen to me--"

"Why do I have to listen to you?" Jai asked, crossing his arms. "I've been listening to Thom cry for the past two hours!"

"I'm in love with him, Jai. I swear to God, I am!"

Ted stepped back just slightly, almost shocked to hear the words come out of Kyan's mouth.

"You don't love him," Jai argued. "You are using him!"

"Show him the watch," Carson urged.

Reluctantly, Kyan handed over Thom's gift.

"Holy… Mother of God," Ted breathed, looking over Jai's shoulder.

"Making up for being an ass?" Jai said.

Kyan shook his head. "I knew you were going to say that!"

"How much did this cost you?" Ted asked, impressed.

"Who cares!" Jai continued. "He's trying to buy Thom!"

"I'm not trying to buy him!" Kyan stressed. "I didn't mean… I didn't leave him this morning." He hesitated.

"What?" asked Carson.

"Okay, at first I left him. I---"

"I knew it!" Jai grunted. "You are such a---"

"Don't say another word," Carson said, jumping up onto his knees. "We all still have to work together! I don’t want you to say something you'll regret."

"I won't regret it. The only thing I regret is pushing Thom to forgive him!"

"Don't say that," Kyan said, quietly.

"Oh my god!" Ted exclaimed. "Did you see this?" He shoved the box under Jai's nose and displayed the slightly curved engraving.

Jai leaned down to read it, then slowly raised his eyes to Kyan. "What is going on?"

"Finally," Carson sighed, exhausted.

"I'm in love," Kyan said, softly. "And I don't want to lose him." He swallowed back approaching tears. "I love him."

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