Chapter 10

"It's such a bizarre sight."

"What is?" asked Carson, looking up at Kyan, who stood in the doorway of the sliding glass doors.

"You- sitting out here with a cigarette in your mouth and a martini by your side while you sew my jeans." He sank into a chair, placing his drink on the table.

"I hate to admit it but it is gorgeous out here," Carson muttered.

"It's so quiet though," Kyan whispered as if he had to be quiet. He stared at the lights dancing off the river.

"Did you talk to Jai?"

"Yes."

"And…"

"They had a good day. They are going to take the guy to a place called 'Gabriel's'. Apparently they had the best wine."

"Good." He paused. "Did he say anything about Thom?"

"As a matter of fact, he did."

"And?"

"And nothing. Thom won't talk to him about me. Apparently Thom isn't talking to anyone about me."

"Except for Michael."

Kyan raised his head. "Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"You know I don't want to hear about Thom and his ex."

"I'm just trying to point out to you that he is talking about you to someone!"

"You have no class."

"Oh, I'm insulted!" Carson practically squealed. "How can you---" He clamped his mouth shut.

"What? Finish," Kyan said.

"Thom just walked out onto his balcony," Carson hissed through clinched teeth.

Kyan immediately whipped around. "What is he doing out here?"

"What do you mean what is he doing out here? It's a free country." He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Hey, Thom."

Thom swiveled to them. "Hey, guys," he said politely.

Kyan turned back to Carson and slumped into his seat.

"Did you get a lot done today?" Carson asked.

"Yeah, I did." He leaned on the wrought iron. "I had a little trouble concentrating, but I have a good, solid direction to start on. I'm eager to get to the stores in the morning."

"Trouble concentrating, huh?" Carson's eyes sparkled. "Wanna talk about it?"

"For crying out…" Kyan hummed.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you can figure it out," Thom said, chuckling a little. He looked at the shrinking man. "How's it going, Kyan?"

"Fine," he said, quickly.

"How was your day?"

"Fine."

"Where are you going to buy this guy's furniture?" asked Carson.

"I'm going to go check out this store I found called 'Westlake', and then I'll take him over to 'Crate and Barrel'. Can't go wrong with them."

"Sounds good." He gestured to Kyan. "We went over to Saks this afternoon."

"Ah, see, Texas isn't so foreign after all, is it?"

"Actually its not too bad. Kyan and I were commenting on how beautiful this Riverwalk thing is."

"Yeah," Thom agreed. "It is quite magnificent. Very tranquil."

"Oh my god," Kyan groaned under his breath so only Carson could hear him. "Do you hear how sexy his voice sounds?"

"There's someone at the door," Thom announced, looking into his room. "I'll be right back."

"Jesus, Kyan!" Carson whispered. "What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know," he moaned. "I'm scared I'm going to say something that will make him hate me more than he does now."

"He doesn't hate you! You have to stop thinking that! But my god, you have to start talking to him like a normal human being. How in the hell are you going to deal with him tomorrow during taping?"

"Shit, I don't know," he said, tapping his cigarette against his lips. "I'm beginning to think I should've just quit."

"You are nuts!"

"Hey," Thom said, sticking his head out of the doors. "It's Jai. Can we come over and hang out with you guys?"

"Of course," Carson jumped. "That's a silly question."

Thom glanced at Kyan then looked back to Carson. "We'll be right there."

"Go get the door," Carson demanded of Kyan.

"Fine," Kyan spat, snuffing out his cigarette.

"Don't be such a damn baby," he called after him.

Kyan mocked him, while he opened the door. "Come in. Booze is on the table."

"Hey, kids," Carson called from outside.

"Hey," said Jai.

"Where's Ted and Barry?"

"They are out walking," Thom said, avoiding Kyan's eyes as he skirted by him.

"Sounds romantic," Carson sighed. "I wish I had someone to walk along the river with."

"For the love of…," Thom hissed, pouring himself a gin and tonic.

"It's relentless," Kyan grumbled. Courteously, he plucked a cut lime from the bowl and dropped it Thom's glass.

"Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome," Kyan said, quietly. He moved closer to Thom so that they were touching.

"Don’t make this harder than it already is," Thom whispered, stirring his drink.

"What do you mean?"

"You know I want you."

"Do you?"

"Yes," he breathed, leaning into him.

"Then why are fighting?" Kyan asked, reaching for his hand.

Quickly, Thom snapped it away. "You know why," he said. "This is more to me than just sexual."

Kyan shifted his eyes to Carson and Jai who were watching them from the balcony. They made no secret of it.

"But it was good sex, wasn't it?" Kyan treaded.

"What?" The question threw him completely off guard.

"Never mind," Kyan said, growing nervous. He couldn't believe that he had even asked it.

"Wait," Thom said, reaching over and grabbing Kyan's hand as he started to walk away. He turned Kyan around to face him. "I told you that night it was unbelievable."

"I know you did," Kyan said. "But…"

"But what? Did you think I was lying? My God, Kyan, do you believe anything I say! I told you I wouldn't hurt you, yet for some reason you think I'm going to demolish you! I told you what we shared together was unreal, and yet, you are standing here questioning me on it!"

Kyan's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't implying you were lying, Thom!" he said, hotly. "Today I told Carson being with you was the best sex I've ever had. For some foolish reason I thought maybe you might have felt the same way." He yanked his hand away. "I was trying to ask you…. Just never mind. Forget I said a damn thing." He crossed to Jai and Carson. "I'm not staying," he announced. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Kyan!" Carson yelled, tossing the jeans onto the cement and rushing after him.

"Just leave it alone, Carson," Kyan said, reaching the door.

"See, there he goes," Thom said. "Running away again."

Kyan spun around to him. "You bastard! You are the one that blew up at me!"

"I'm sorry I can't read your mind, Kyan!" he practically sneered. "Just ask what you want to ask me without dancing around the issue."

Jai slowly entered the room.

"I just asked you," Kyan yelled.

"Okay, calm down," Carson tried to sooth.

"Thom, maybe we should just go," Jai coaxed, taking his friend's arm.

"No, no," Thom said. "I'm going to answer him. He wants to know- I'm going to tell him."

"Carson, let me go," Kyan pleaded. "I don't want to know."

"Why?" Thom asked. "What are you scared of if I say yes?"

"I wish I knew what you guys were talking about," Carson grunted.

"Same here," Jai chimed.

"Are you scared I'd be lying to you?"

"I don't know," Kyan said. "All I know is that I want to go."

Thom gritted his teeth together. "He wants to go. Just let him go."

"Are you crazy?" Carson asked. "He's not going anyway. You guys are going to talk this out."

"Car…" Kyan groaned.

"Look at you! You two are a mess!" he stressed. "Listen, I know that you have issues to deal with from Jason." He looked at Kyan. "And you," he said, turning to Thom. "Are pissed because he isn't dealing with these issues. But the bottom line is you guys are just making yourselves miserable! You like him. He likes you. Why can't you just sit down and talk!"

"He's scared!" Thom said.

"So are you!" Kyan shot back.

"Yeah," Thom said, dropping his voice. "Yeah, I am, Kyan. Because how I feel about you…" He glanced at Carson who was just shaking his head. "I'm risking a lot!"

"And who doesn't risk a lot when they start a relationship," Jai said, jumping in.

There was a knock at the door. The four of them froze as if their hands had been caught in the cookie jar.

"Who is it?" Carson squeaked.

"It's Ted and Barry," Ted called. "Where is everyone?"

"Should I open it?" Jai asked. It wasn't as if they didn't want to see Ted and Barry; it was just that the momentum they had going between Kyan and Thom would be lost.

"Come on! Open the door," Ted said. "What the hell is going on in there?"

"You better," Carson said.

Jai squeezed himself between the door and Kyan. As he started to open it, Kyan bolted, ripping out of Carson's hands.

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" Carson yelled. "Kyan!"

"Woah!" said Barry, standing back as he came flying by. "Where's the fire?"

Ted leaned against the doorframe and sighed. "Let me guess- Thom."

"Hey, I didn't do a damn thing," Thom said, raising his hands. "He's a nutcase."

"And you are in love with him!" Carson roared. "I can't take this anymore! There is just too much drama."

"Oh, you love drama," Jai pointed out.

"Yes, but I can't fix this drama."

"No one said you had to!" Thom bellowed.

"It's not getting done with just the two of you!"

"We are doing fine, thank you," he argued.

"Oh my god! Kyan just ran out of here!"

"And that's his problem."

Carson grabbed Thom's arm. "Get out."

"Fine," said Thom, brushing passed him. "Have a good night."

"Carson!" Ted gritted.

He sighed. "Thom, wait, I'm sorry," he apologized, knowing he had to. The second he yelled at Thom he had felt terrible.

Thom turned to him. "It's okay," he said, sincerely. "I'm sorry, too. I know you guys are just trying to help. And I'm sorry the two of us keep dragging you into it."

Carson nodded.

"I'll see you guys in the morning," he said, then heading to his room.

"This is unbelievable," Ted said, pushing his way into Carson's room. "We need to talk."

Kyan leaned against his closed door and tried to catch his breath. "Get a grip, man. Just get a grip." He shook his head. "Why is this so hard? Why do we end up yelling at each other? If I hadn't opened my mouth…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "How the hell are we going to get through tomorrow?"

There was a soft knock at the door, and he jumped in surprise.

"Kyan? It's Thom."

"Oh my god."

"You don't have to open the door," Thom said. "I just want you to listen to me for a second." He paused. "God, I hope you are listening."

"I'm listening."

"The answer to your question…" He took a deep breath. "The answer is yes."

Kyan felt his body melt. His knees literally gave way, and he collapsed into a sitting position on the floor.

"It was the best sex I've ever had, although I never saw it as having sex." He swallowed. "I was making love to you, Kyan. I was telling you the truth when I said I've never felt this way about anyone."

"Thom," Kyan whispered, pressing his cheek against the door. "God, what are we doing to each other?"

"I hope you sleep well," Thom said. "I'll see you in the morning."

Kyan reached up and grabbed the doorknob, wanting to yank it open and fall into his arms. Instead, he sat there until he heard Thom's door slam shut, then crumbled.

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