Chapter 3

"You look fabulous," Carson declared, stepping back to admire his own work. "Thom will not be able to keep his hands off of you!"

Kyan grinned slightly and turned to the mirror. Tilting his head to the side, he had to admit that Carson's choice of clothing for him was superb. He was decked out in a nice black suit pant- topped off with a dark blue cashmere sweater. It was definitely a change from the sleeveless, muscle shirts he usually wore on and off the show. Running his fingers through his hair, he tugged on a few strands that had fallen limp during Carson's escapade to dress him.

"Lotion?" Carson asked, shoving the bottle under his nose, reading Kyan's thoughts clearly.

"Thanks, Sir."

He squeezed a healthy amount into his palms and rubbed them together, making sure his fingertips were smooth and soft.

"Nervous?" Carson questioned.

Kyan rounded his eyes up to his friend. "What do you think?"

"Oh, there is nothing to be nervous about," Carson sighed. "It's just Thommy!"

"Christ, that's the problem, Car!"

Carson collapsed onto Kyan's bed. "You have it that bad for him?"

"Have you heard nothing I've said to you this past week?" Kyan snipped.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he groaned. "Thom this, Thom that… blah, blah, blah."

Kyan smacked Carson's knee. "Why can't you be supportive of this? Why is it so difficult for you to give me some sort of confidence?"

Carson pulled himself onto his elbows. "Because, jackass, you should already have that confidence yourself! Of course this date is going to go well! You and Thom are already friends. You guys are already passed that awkward stage of getting to know each other." He shrugged. "And besides, you and Thom… it just makes sense."

Turning back to the mirror, Kyan straightened his sweater and once again ran his fingers through his hair. "I wish I knew if he felt the same way."

"Well, something should be said about the fact that he agreed to go out with you! You just don't accept a date if you detest the person."

Kyan nodded a little. "Do you think Chez Michallet is a little too much on the first date?"

"Oh, god, you are driving me crazy," Carson groaned, falling back onto the bed in a huff. "I told you the other day that it was fine! Ted and Jai both agreed it was an excellent choice." He stared up at the ceiling. "Where the hell else would you take him anyway? There aren't many choices left out there once you take away all the places the five of us have been together."

"I just don't want to come on too strong," Kyan whined. "I don't want him to get all nervous because it's a romantic setting and---"

"He picked out the restaurant for the love of God!" Carson bellowed. "Kyan, you have to calm down! It's just Thom! Quirky, dorky Thom."

"I think you mentioned that before… and it didn't help! Thom is not 'just Thom'- he's…. Thom."

Carson rolled his eyes at the way Kyan said their friend's name. It came off his lips in a whispery, lustful sigh.

"I'm going to make sure the flowers aren't dead," Kyan jumped.

"Aren't dead?" Carson pulled up into a sitting position and called out to him. "You just bought them two hours ago!"

"I don't care," he responded. "I'm not about to give Thom anything that is on the verge of dying!"

"For crying out loud!" Carson groaned. "You need to relax, K! This is not going to be the say all, end all of your entire love life."

There was silence until Kyan appeared in the bedroom doorway. "How do you know that?" he demanded. "Thom could be the one , and if I mess this up- which I usually do- I could lose my chance at real love!"

Carson crossed his legs. "Are you going to sleep with him?"

"Oh my God, Car! I don't know!"

"Okay, so let's say the date goes wonderful… everything is fine and dandy. You go to drive him home… do you ask him back here instead?"

The mere idea made Kyan panic. "What if he said no?"

"You are such a chicken shit," Carson exclaimed.

"I am not! Maybe I don't particularly like sleeping with someone on the first date."

Carson laughed out loud. "You wish!"

Kyan grimaced, looking away, knowing his friend was right. There was a time when he was sleeping with a different man almost every week.

"Don't tell me you love him too much to sleep with him," Carson said.

"I didn't say that," Kyan snapped. "I just don't want him to say…"

"No," Carson finished.

He nodded.

"Thom won't say no," Carson told him, confidently.

"How do you know that?"

"He's hard up. You see how much he talks about sex. He'd do it with anyone." He grinned, teasingly.

"You are such a bastard."

"Thanks." He glanced at the clock. "You're going to be late."

Kyan paled. "It's going to be a disaster."

"Why can't you be a little more positive? He said yes, didn't he? Things are going to be fine!" Carson pulled Kyan's jacket out of the closet. "Stop worrying so damn much and have fun."

Kyan tried to remember Carson's words as he pulled up to Thom's house. He looked at the flowers resting on the seat before raising his eyes to the front door. His stomach flipped over, and he inhaled deeply. He had a strange feeling that the second he got out of the car, his whole life would change forever. He just didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad one.

"Guess there is only one way to find out."

He took a final deep breath, grabbed the flowers and stepped out onto the street. His mind was blur as he pushed himself up the path. Before he had a chance to talk himself into getting back into the car and driving away, he knocked on the door. Quickly, he straightened his clothes and fussed with his hair as he waited for Thom to answer. The door swung open, causing a breeze to ruffle his confidence.

"Hey," said Thom, smiling brightly.

"Hi," Kyan said. "You look… wonderful." His eyes traveled over his body subtly.

"So do you," Thom complimented. "Tell Carson I said so."

Kyan laughed. "I'll pass along the message." He cleared his throat before producing the flowers. "These are for you."

"Oh my god!" Thom exclaimed. "They are beautiful." He looked at Kyan. "You didn't have to do this!"

"Yes, I did," he responded.

Their eyes locked for a second. Kyan felt a spark, and his skin was suddenly covered in goosebumps.

"Uh, come in," Thom fumbled, stepping back. "Let me just go put these in water."

Kyan stepped in timidly and practically hugged the door as Thom plucked a vase from the bookcase and headed into the kitchen.

"How did work go today?" Kyan called out to him.

"Exhausting. They had a car pick me up at my office, so on the way back I fell asleep, and I kid you not, when the driver woke me up I had no idea where I was. I didn't realize how tired I was."

The running water halted their minimal conversation for a brief minute.

"Where's Paco?" Kyan looked around for the beagle.

"In the back. I bought him a bone that's like twice his size." Thom appeared in the doorway, holding the bouquet of flowers. "He's in doggie heaven."

Kyan licked his lips. "Are you, uh… I'll understand if you are too tired to go out."

Chuckling a little, Thom placed the vase on the coffee table. "I didn't tell you that to imply I didn't want to go out." He glanced up at him. "I want to go out with you, Kyan. I've been looking forward to it all week."

He blushed.

"Let me go check on Paco and grab my jacket," Thom continued, smiling. "I'm famished."

"Me, too," he agreed, although his stomach would not stop flipping over from nerves.

It seemed to take Thom forever to get back. When he did, he was pulling his jacket on and shoving his keys into the pocket.

"Let me help you," Kyan jumped.

"There is no need to impress me." he teased, looking over his shoulder at him. "I know you too well to have you start acting all gentlemanly on me."

"This is different."

Thom turned to face him. "How?"

Kyan darted his eyes away. "I…" He paused. "We should go. We have reservations."

"Okay," he said, raising an eyebrow at the total avoidance of the subject. He found it incredibly cute.

Kyan waited for him to lock the house up, then lead him to the car, where he opened the passenger door for him. Thom slid into the leather seat before reaching over and unlocking the driver's side.

"Oh, God, why did he have to do that?" Kyan groaned, circling around. "The man is just too perfect."

"I was thinking of redoing the loft," Thom started when they reached the end of his block.

"Oh? Why?"

"I don't know. I was talking to Dave yesterday- with the new season coming up in a couple of months we thought we could do something new." He looked at Kyan. "What do you think?"

"I think you are crazy. The loft is amazing how it is right now." He glanced over at him, hardly taking his eyes off the road due to the insanity of New York traffic. "But if you want to change it, I'm sure it will be genius, as usual."

"Chivalry and compliments? Wow. I think I am starting to be impressed."

"I'm just being honest," Kyan defended, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He just knew that Thom could see right through him. He didn't know what else to do- every technique he had was worthless because he and Thom already knew each other so well.

"Well," Thom said. "If you like the loft, I won't change it."

The tone of sincerity in his voice sent Kyan's blood rushing through his veins. His throat was suddenly dry.

"And why do you need my approval so much?" he managed.

"Because I like you, Kyan," Thom admitted freely.

"Excuse me?" The comment didn't seem to register with his brain.

"I like you. Why do you think I'm here with you?" He reached over and changed the radio station.

"Now you are the one trying to impress me," Kyan said, nervous at the thought of where the conversation could be heading.

"No, just being honest." He dropped his hand from the radio and clasped it over Kyan's.

"So, uh, have you been to Chez Michallet's before?" Kyan quivered.

"No, but I love French food. You?"

"Once," he said. "When my mom came to visit for the first time."

"How is your mom?" Thom asked.

"Great. We just finalized a trip down to Florida to visit some family at the end of February."

"Did you tell her about… asking me out?"

"No."

The information shocked Thom. He knew how close Kyan was to his mother. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I didn't want to jinx it."

"Jinx it?"

"I want tonight to be perfect. I guess I thought if I told too many people…"

"You are so cute," Thom breathed, then squeezing his hand.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"And sexy as hell."

"Thom Filicia, are you hitting on me?" Kyan teased, not knowing how he was keeping his heart from jumping out of his chest.

"I think I am," Thom said. "Do you want me to stop?"

Kyan pulled up to red light and turned his eyes to him.

"Do you?" Thom asked again.

He shook his head, then felt his groin tighten at the way Thom's eyes softened.

"What are you thinking about?" Thom questioned.

"Nothing," Kyan blurted out too quickly.

Thom leaned into him. "Do you want to kiss me?"

He swallowed- jarred by the fact that Thom read his mind. "Someday."

Kyan was almost thankful when the light turned green, and the car behind them honked madly.




"I don't think we…" Kyan pulled his hand away from Thom's when he reached for it as they made their way to the glass doors of the restaurant. "In case someone recognizes us," Kyan clarified.

"Ah." Thom understood and nodded in agreement. "We don't need the press to have a field day- like with you and Robert."

Kyan's heart stopped at the mention of his friend's name.

"How is Robert these days?" Thom asked casually.

Kyan knew the question had a hidden meaning behind it. It was common knowledge that Kyan and Robert had been sleeping together.

"He's doing fine," he answered carefully.

"Have you seen him since Thanksgiving?"

Kyan opened the door, then followed him into the lavish restaurant.

"Reservation for Douglas." He addressed the hostess, but could feel Thom's eyes on him.

"Yes, sir," she said, smiling and checking his name off the long list. "Rebecca will seat you."

They were lead to a small table tucked away in between two large booths, given a simple rundown of the night's special, then left alone.

"So," Thom said, opening his menu and casting his eyes over the slew of French. "Have you?"

"Do I detect some jealousy?" Kyan asked, doing the same- and not meeting Thom's eyes.

"No," he said, defensively. "Why would I be jealous?"

"I don't know. A few minutes ago you said you liked me."

"I didn't mean anything by that- I like Carson. I like Jai. I like Ted." He shrugged.

"Thom--"

"And why aren't you telling me the last time you saw Robert? It's never been a secret before."

Kyan took a deep breath. "Because I do like you, Thom- and not how I like Carson or Ted or Jai. I don't want my relationship with Bobby to jeopardize what my relationship with you could be."

Thom closed his menu. "You know I thought you were never going to ask me out."

"Huh?"

"I wanted you to ask me out from the first second I saw you."

"You did?"

"Yes, I did. I was immediately attracted to you. Of course, that's not saying much since almost everyone is attracted to you."

"Why didn't you ask me out?" Kyan asked boldly. "Why did you wait for me…?"

"Are you kidding me? Kyan, come on! You know you are gorgeous." He shook his head. "When you can have any man you want, why would you…."

"Oh, don't even start that. I can not have any man I want. And besides, you shouldn't have let that ridiculous thinking stop you from asking me out."

"Well, you started seeing Robert," Thom said.

"That's a lousy excuse. I didn't meet Bobby until two months after the show premiere- and by that time, we had known each other for almost six months."

"Good evening, Gentleman." The sophisticated waiter appeared at their table. "How are we tonight?"

"Fine, thank you," Thom answered, smiling.

"Can I start you off with an appetizer, some wine perhaps?"

"A bottle of Chardonnay please," Kyan ordered.

"Raymond Reserve?"

"Yes, please."

"And we are going to share the queues de langoustine," Thom inputted.

"Excellent choice," the waiter expressed.

"Can we have some water as well?" Kyan asked.

"Of course. I'll be right back." He stepped away.

"Wine?" Thom asked.

"Queues de lan… what the hell did you just order?" He flipped through the menu.

"It's stuffed crawfish with butter sauce," Thom informed him.

"How do you know I like fish?" Kyan challenged.

"I know you." He stated the fact confidently, then grinned.

Unable to argue, Kyan huffed.

"Can I ask you something?" Thom asked.

"Sure."

"What made you decide to ask me out?"

"Uh, well, nothing really made me decide," Kyan said. "I, uh… I too was attracted to you from the first time I saw you."

"Seriously?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, seriously," Kyan said, chuckling. "Why is that so shocking?"

"It's been ten months- why haven't you said anything?"

"Me!? Thom, why didn't you?"

"I told you."

"Maybe I have the same reason."

"Oh sure- I have men lined up around the block to date me," Thom said, sarcastically.

"You aren't… Christ, Thom, you act like you are a walking monster. You haven't been completely celibate the past ten months."

Thom grimaced. "Good point."

Kyan leaned over the table. "Let's face it- we are both chicken shit. We just---"

"Wasted ten months?"

"Something like that, but we are here now, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Thom said.

Kyan touched Thom's foot with his. "I haven't seen Bobby since Thanksgiving, and the last time I slept with him was back in October."

The waiter reappeared, and Kyan pulled back to allow him to set the water down and pour the wine. He took their dinner order- Kyan wanting the portobello mushroom salad and the lamb, and Thom asking for the endive salad and salmon.

"So, how come you and Robert never…?" Thom asked, breaking the silence after the waiter's departure.

"Established ourselves as a couple?" Kyan finished.

Thom nodded.

"I don't know. I mean, yeah, I like him- that's obvious. But, that connection, you know, that spark was never really there. We talked about it at Thanksgiving and came to the conclusion that we are just really good friends." He took a sip of wine to continue. "Besides, I wanted to… have a chance with you."

Thom couldn't help but blush. "You know, flattery wins all the time."

"I may be flattering you, but I'm also telling you the truth. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else right now."

"You are making it really hard for me not to kiss you right now," Thom growled. "You don't know how many times I've thought of what it would be like to kiss you."

"But you have kissed me, remember? When we taped George's episode." He tried to be silly to cover the burning desire in his own body.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"Well, you can't deny that you've kissed me, right?"

"Okay, fine, you are right. We had that one, teeny, tiny peck on the lips."

"And you are saying that's not enough?"

"Why are you doing this?" Thom said, smiling. "Do you always tease like this?"

Kyan cocked his head to the side. "I guess that's just something you'll have to find out."

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